Do a Secret Santa with friends

Secret Santa is a small ritual that makes a group feel closer. Everyone gives one gift and gets one gift, and the fun is in guessing who got you. Done well, it is easy to organise and cheap for everyone.

When and where to plan it

Start about three to four weeks before the swap. That gives people time to buy, wrap and maybe order something online. Choose a date and a place when you invite people, so everyone can plan, and pick an evening that works for the whole group.

Choose a place that has space to sit together and open gifts. A living room is perfect. If your group is spread out, you can run it online: draw names with an app and send gifts by mail, then open them on a video call.

Think about who is in the group. If it is a mix of close friends and people who only half know each other, a gift guide or a wishlist can help. And remember that not everyone celebrates Christmas. Check that everyone is happy to take part, and call it a holiday gift swap if you want to be inclusive.

What you need

Beyond the name-draw app, a price limit and a night to swap:

• A list of everyone taking part, with a way to contact them
• A short wishlist or a few likes and dislikes from each person
• Wrapping paper and tape, or a bag and tissue paper
• A pen for gift tags, so you do not give away your handwriting
• A bag or box where gifts can wait on the night

How to do it

1. Invite the group. Say the date, the budget and the deadline for joining. Keep it simple.
2. Set the limit together. Ask what feels comfortable and pick a number that works for the person with the tightest budget. Many groups choose a modest amount, which keeps the focus on thought rather than money.
3. Draw names. Use a free app, or write names on paper and draw from a bowl. Everyone should only see their own giftee. If you draw yourself, redraw.
4. Share a few hints. Ask each person to send a short wishlist, or a few things they like and do not like. The organiser can share them without saying who wrote what.
5. Buy and wrap. Choose something useful, edible or handmade that fits the limit. Wrap it, and label it with the name only.
6. Swap. On the night, take turns handing out gifts. You can guess who your Santa is before you reveal it, or leave it a mystery.
7. Reveal. Say who you gave to and why you chose it.

Gift ideas that suit most budgets

• A good candle, a mug or a small plant
• Tea, hot chocolate, cookies or other treats
• A notebook, pen set or a paperback you think they would like
• A small handmade item, such as a bookmark or a jar of something sweet
• Warm socks, a hat or gloves

Check any allergies before you give food, and avoid anything too personal.

What goes wrong

• Someone does not know their person well. The wishlist helps. Or ask a mutual friend for ideas, without saying who it is for.
• Someone overspends or underspends. Remind everyone of the limit when you send the draw, and keep it friendly.
• Someone forgets. Send a reminder a week before and the day before. Keep a small spare gift in case.
• A name is given away. If it happens, do not worry. Laugh and keep the other guesses going.
• Someone feels left out. Make sure everyone gets a gift, and check that no one is left without a giver.

After the swap

Take photos of everyone with their gifts, and ask people to send a thank-you note, or just a message. If it goes well, set a date for the next one, and ask someone else to run it.

Make it a winter evening

Draw the names early, then bring the group together over snacks and wrapping paper. If you want to make the gifts look good, wrap them in brown paper and twine and put a name tag on each.