Send a friend a letter

Almost nobody gets real mail now, which is exactly why a letter lands so well. You don’t need news. You can write about nothing in particular: the weather, your week, the tea you’re drinking. It takes about ten minutes, and your friend will probably keep it.

Choose who

Think of a friend you haven’t talked to properly in a while, or one who lives far away, or one who’d just like to hear from you. A letter works for someone you see every day too.

You need their address. Text them and ask for it. If you want it to be a surprise, say you’re sending a small something.

What you need

Paper and an envelope, a pen you like writing with, and a stamp. Plain paper from a notebook is fine, but a card or a nice sheet makes it feel like a gift. If you don’t have stamps, you can buy them at the post office, and some stores and supermarkets sell them too.

A simple layout

You don’t need to be fancy. A letter usually looks like this:

1. The date at the top, because it makes a letter feel like a little time capsule
2. A greeting. “Dear Sam,” or “Hi Sam,” is fine.
3. An opening line. Say why you’re writing, or just start: “I was thinking about you this morning.”
4. The middle. A few things from your life, and a few questions for theirs.
5. A closing. “Write back if you feel like it,” “I miss you” or “Talk soon.”
6. Your name, with a “Love,” “Yours,” or “Your friend,”

What to write about

If you freeze, use these:

• What you did this week, and one small funny thing that happened
• What the season looks like where you are right now
• A book, show, song or recipe you liked, and why
• A memory you share with them
• What you’re looking forward to
• A question you’d like them to answer
• Something you noticed that reminded you of them

Write the way you speak. Don’t worry about crossing out words or about your handwriting. Specific details are more interesting than big statements, so “the tree outside my window turned orange overnight” beats “fall is here.”

Add something small

A letter is also an envelope, so you can put something in it:

• A pressed leaf, dried flat first
• A photo
• A ticket stub, a drawing, or a clipping
• A teabag, a sticker or a bookmark

Keep it flat and light, so the letter doesn’t need a heavier stamp.

Address and send it

For a letter in the US:

• Write the recipient’s name and address in the centre of the envelope, in clear writing.
• Write your own address in the top left corner.
• Stick the stamp in the top right corner.
• Seal the envelope, and drop it in a mailbox or take it to the post office.

Check the address twice, including the apartment number and the zip code. If you’re not sure about the postage, ask at the post office, particularly if you’ve added something thick or heavy.

If you can’t think what to say

• You don’t have news. That’s fine. Write about ordinary things.
• It feels awkward. It does for everyone for a moment. Start with one sentence, and the rest follows.
• Your handwriting is messy. They’ll still be glad to read it.
• You’re worried they won’t reply. Don’t make that the point. Say “no need to write back.”
• You’ve been out of touch. Skip the long apology. “I’ve been thinking of you” is enough.

Keep it going

Some friends start a regular exchange, a letter a month or one each season. Keep a small box with paper, envelopes and a roll of stamps, so it’s easy to write on a quiet evening. If you have a different reason to write, a thank-you note is a close cousin, a bit shorter and more specific.

Make it a fall evening

Sit by a window with a hot drink and a candle, and write a page. Add a leaf from the park if you’ve been out, and mail it the next morning on your way to class or work. Then forget it, until your friend texts you a photo of it on her fridge.